Consultation with Mary

by Rev. Fr. Gabriel Lavery, CMRI

* Originally published in The Reign of Mary, Issue No. 150, Spring 2013

Hindsight is always 20/20. Unfortunately, this is not much help, since we cannot go back and change the past. We must act in the present and this requires foresight into the future. The future is hidden, yet we have to make decisions now which will affect us then. Sometimes our whole future hinges on one decision. How many saints in heaven are there because of one decision that determined their whole course of life! Perhaps it was a resolution they took, perhaps a devotion or prayer they practiced, perhaps the choice of a good friend or a particular vocation. On the other hand, how many souls are in hell because of a wrong choice which led to a life of sin! Perhaps it was the choice of a bad companion or of putting themselves in a single occasion of sin that led to habits of sin and final impenitence. Sometimes a seemingly unimportant decision has eternal consequences.

A young lady, a fallen away Catholic, was once riding a tour bus through France on a college trip. They had a short stop at Lourdes. Though she had no interest in Lourdes, she decided to stay there rather than continue the tour. While at Lourdes she met Bishop Fulton Sheen who happened to be there visiting the shrine. He helped her to return to the Catholic Church. Later she discovered that the tour bus never made it to its destination; it had gone off a cliff in the mountains and the passengers were killed! What would have happened to her soul if she had stayed on that bus? In eternity we will see how many seemingly unimportant circumstances were the result of God’s loving providence guiding us. Fortunately, though we cannot see the future, we have the means at our disposal to make good decisions. A very simple and powerful means is what Fr. Emil Neubert in Life of Union with Mary calls “Consultation with Mary.”

Just what is consultation with Mary? First, we must remember that Mary’s will in heaven is always perfectly in accord with the will of Jesus, just as it was during her life. Therefore, if we could ask Mary for advice, her advice would always be correct. In fact, it is possible to consult her; we simply have to ask her advice. Before explaining how this is done, it is important to point out what this consultation is not.

It is not a revelation. No visions or voices are necessary.

It is not intellectual laziness or mere passivity. In other words, it does not exempt us from using the other means which God has given us such as asking prudent advice from others. It does not exempt us from thinking the problem through. Mary watches over us to guide us but does not do all the work. It is rather like an apprentice working under the watchful eye of an experienced tradesman. It is not automatic approval of all our plans. Sometimes when we pray for counsel we are like a child who calls to his mother as he runs out the door: “Mom, I’m going over to Billy’s house!” The child is not really asking for permission. Rather, he hopes his mother will not have time to object to his plans before he gets out the door.

It is not a replacement for due submission to superiors. It is useless to ask Mary’s advice for something when God has already clearly shown us His will through the voice of our superiors, parents, spiritual director, etc. It would also be wrong to neglect to ask the guidance of superiors when that is required. However, we can ask Mary’s advice on how to best present our quandary to the superior or how to best carry out his wishes. We should also remember that God’s will is often clearly marked out for us by the duties which are necessarily connected with our state in life, or by circumstances which arise of their own accord, or rather, through Divine Providence.

So what is consultation with Mary? How does it work? The procedure for consulting Mary is simple. We just talk to her as we would to any other person in whom we have confidence. We tell her what we propose to do and ask whether she approves or has any other suggestions. That is, of course, easy enough, but what about getting an answer? As Fr. Neubert explains, sometimes we feel she approves; other times we feel she does not approve and we must reflect on another course of action to submit to her.

Of course, this feeling must be carefully explained. Fr. Neubert defines it in this way: “Is this feeling, by which Mary approves or disapproves a proposed course of action, a revelation? No, it is not, except perhaps in the case of souls favored by extraordinary mystical graces. To expect revelations normally would be to fall into the error of illuminism. Is it an emotional impression or a creation of the imagination? The answer again is no; emotions and imagination have nothing to do with this response from the Blessed Virgin. What is it then? We can best define it as a quasi certitude to which the intellect, the heart, the will, and grace contribute” (p. 58-59).

So, it is a “quasi certitude”. It is not an absolute certitude, because we are liable to err under the influence of passion, haste or other obstacles as in all decisions. However, it is not mere guesswork or an empty feeling. Although we cannot get a verbal response from Our Lady, we have a sort of certitude of her response. This comes from four sources: 1) the intellect, 2) the heart, 3) the will, 4) grace. A short explanation of each of these will help make this clear.

Intellect: The intellect aids us by reasoning, i.e. by weighing all the pros and cons in the presence of the Blessed Virgin. It also helps us by intuition. A child may sometimes doubt what to do in some circumstance. He hesitates whether to judge something good or bad. His reason is clouded. Yet, as soon as he asks himself, “What would mom think if she were here?” he instinctively knows what he should or should not be doing.

Heart: When we love someone, we wish to please him. We are more conscious of his likes and dislikes. An ardent love for our Blessed Mother will settle many a doubt which our cold, dry intellect is still debating in court.

Will: The will must step in to bring unruly passions under control. Many people know exactly what they should be doing but do not have the will-power to do it. Often we do not see the truth because we are afraid to face it. We cannot deceive our Blessed Mother. In her presence we make an honest examination of the facts. Through her intercession the passions are brought under control and the mind is made clear to make a proper decision.

Grace: Through Mary’s intercession, we ask for grace which lifts us up to a new realm, that of the supernatural. Under the influence of grace, we practice the virtue of prudence. Also, through the intercession of Our Lady of Good Counsel we receive the inspirations of the Holy Ghost to which we respond through the Gift of Counsel. Our mind is enlightened and our will strengthened to carry out God’s will.

Thus, through the natural means of the intellect, the heart and the will, assisted by the supernatural means of grace and the inspirations of the Holy Ghost, we arrive at a quasi-certitude as to the right course of action. Sometimes we must wait for an answer; sometimes it is God’s will that we suffer the trial of doubt. At times we may make a wrong decision in spite of consulting Mary. In that case, if we know we did our best, we can rest assured that God has permitted this mistake that some good may come of it. If we make a habit of turning to Mary for advice, speaking to her as a child to its mother, submitting to her all our feelings, troubles and doubts — whether great or small — we will go surely along the road to eternity and have a great calm which only a child of Mary can know.